My Very UnFairy Tale Life: Jenny’s First Adventure Read online

  My Very UnFairy Tale Life

  Jenny’s First Adventure

  A Short Prequel

  Published by Anna Staniszewski at Smashwords

  Copyright 2012 Anna Staniszewski

  Smashwords Edition, License Notes

  Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy at Smashwords.com. Thank you for your support.

  Jenny’s First UnFairy Tale Adventure

  I wasn’t just sitting around twirling my hair when my life went from normal to magical. I was in the middle of gym class, trying to convince my teacher that mini-golf should be taught in school. I’d just spouted one of the catchy slogans I’d invented the night before when—Kapow!—something exploded on the other side of the gymnasium.

  Kids all around me screamed like they were in a horror movie.

  I whirled around to find a gnome standing next to the bleachers. Seriously. A gnome. With bright orange hair, a bright orange beard, and a bright orange lollipop in his hand.

  “Jennifer?” he said. “Anyone here named Jennifer?”

  All eyes swung toward me. “Um,” I said, half-raising my hand. “I usually go by Jenny.”

  The gnome’s face lit up as he practically skipped toward me. He really was a gnome. Unless the taco I’d had for lunch was making me—and everyone else in the class—hallucinate. The beef had been particularly spongy that day.

  “Who are you?” I managed to say.

  “I’m Anthony,” the gnome answered, sticking out a pudgy hand and furiously shaking my fingers. “And I’m going to be your magical guide!”

  I checked to see if my teacher, Mrs. Hartley, was going to do anything about the situation, but she was busy being frozen in shock.

  “Are you really magical?” I asked.

  “Sure am!” the gnome chirped, sticking the lollipop in his mouth. “See?” He snapped his fingers and—pop!—an enormous duck appeared in the middle of the gym floor.

  “Quack,” it said. It wasn’t actually making a quacking sound; it was literally saying “quack” like it was imitating a duck. And, on top of that, its feathers were bright purple. Clearly, this was no regular animal.

  “No birds allowed in the gym,” Mrs. Hartley said weakly.

  I heard something hit the floor behind me. When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw that a few of the kids in my class had fainted.

  I should have been scared. I guess any normal person would have been. But if there was one thing my best friends, Trish and Melissa, were always teasing me about, it was that I was definitely not normal. So while everyone else in my gym class was passing out, I was getting annoyed.

  “Maybe we could talk about this somewhere else?” I asked the gnome. “Since you’re freaking everyone out?”

  Anthony’s grin faded. “You humans are so sensitive.” He grabbed my arm and—pop!—everything around me disappeared. Instantly, I was thrown into an upside-down tilt-a-whirl. I tried to scream, but the sound got sucked right back into my throat.

  Then the horrible feeling faded, and I realized we were in my bedroom. My legs gave out, and I flopped onto the carpet. The purple duck landed next to me with a thump.

  “Ouch,” it said.

  I couldn’t deal with talking ducks at that moment, so I ignored the creature and glared up at Anthony instead.

  “Couldn’t we have just walked to my house instead of doing…whatever that was?” I said.

  The gnome rolled his eyes. “Look, if you’re going to be traveling between worlds, you might as well get used to how it feels.”

  I sat up. “Did you just say something about traveling between worlds?”

  Anthony’s grin came back. “That’s right! I told you, I’m going to be your guide, and you, Jenny-girl, are going to be an adventurer.” He puffed out his chest and looked at me like he expected me to jump up and down with glee.

  “What’s an adventurer?” I got up and went to sit on my bed. The purple duck had made itself at home and was roosting in between my pillows. I pretended not to notice.

  Anthony let out a loud sigh. “I knew this world had no magic, but this is ridiculous!” He shook his head, his orange hair bouncing. “Okay, fine. When you’re an adventurer, you travel to magical worlds and swoop in to save the day. All the magical creatures adore you for helping them, and they reward you with riches and jewels and a million other things. It’s pretty much the best job ever.”

  “A job? I’m nine! I’m not even allowed to babysit.”

  “You are kind of young to be an adventurer, but the Committee sees a lot of potential in you.” Anthony wrinkled his nose. “Though I’m not sure why. Anyway, this first mission would be a trial run. If you do well, you could become a full-fledged adventurer. So, are you up for it? A life of magic and adventure and blah blah blah?”

  I glanced at my bookcase which was stuffed full of stories about regular kids who were thrown into magical situations. I’d always loved disappearing into those tales. In comparison, real life seemed so boring.

  “Well?” said Anthony, crunching on his lollipop.

  That’s when I realized: this was it. If I wasn’t taco-hallucinating, then this was my chance to become one of those kids in those amazing stories. My life would never be boring again.

  “Yes!” I said with a laugh. “Trish and Melissa will never believe me when I tell them about this!”

  Anthony shook his head. “Sorry, Jenny-girl. No telling anyone about your adventures. You have to keep the magical worlds a secret. Otherwise, you’ll get in serious trouble.”

  My excitement dimmed. “What about the other kids in my gym class? They saw you just like I did. Doesn’t that mean they already know about magic?”

  “Not anymore,” said the gnome. “Right before we left, I wiped their memories so they’d forget all about me.”

  I hugged a pillow to my chest. “But what’s the fun of going on fantastic adventures if I can’t share them with anybody?”

  “Don’t you worry,” said Anthony. “You’ll make tons of magical friends, and you’ll be able to tell them all about your missions. It’ll be a blast. I promise.”

  He was right. How could I turn down a chance like this when it meant having a whole new, amazing life? And who knew, maybe one day I’d find a way to tell my friends about it all.

  “Okay,” I said. “I’ll do it.”

  “Fabulous!” said the gnome. Then he grabbed my hand and snapped his fingers. Before I could even brace myself—pop!—we were off again.

  This time, after an eternity of spinning through suffocating rainbows, I collapsed on a pile of dirt. The smell of burnt wood filled my nose as Anthony pulled me up to my feet. I was just going to ask what had happened to the purple duck when I spotted something swooping high above our heads.

  I really had to be seeing things because the swooping figure looked like a dragon. And worse, the dragon appeared to have a bathtub in its mouth.

  I blinked and blinked as the creature disappeared among the gray clouds. Wings. Spikes. Claws. Unless I had a dragon-shaped piece of dirt in my eye, what I’d just seen was for real.

  “Where are we?” I whispered.

  “The locals call it Pssshaazz,” said Anthony, making a sound that reminded me of sizzling oil. “But I just call it Dragonville. Either way, the residents need your help.”

  As I glanced around, I realized why it smelled like something was burning: something had been
burning. We were in the middle of what used to be a forest, but was now mounds of ash and singed wood. It looked nothing like a magical land.

  “What happened to this place?” I said as I followed Anthony down a barren path through the woods.

  “A few things you should know about dragons, Jenny-girl. They like to burn things. And they like to steal things. And they’re not very bright.”

  “And we’re here to help them? It sounds like we should be finding a way to lock them up.”

  “Technically,” said Anthony, jumping over a fallen tree branch, “we’re here to stop them from burning the entire land. They’ve been at war with the sprites ever since the sprite queen said the dragon king had a thick neck. Things pretty much went downhill from there.”

  “What about the sprites?” I said. “Anything I should know about them?”

  “They’re feisty things, that’s for sure. Most of the time, they fly so fast that you can’t even see them. But the one thing sprites are known for is their metalworking magic.”

  “What does that mean?” I said. “Do they make pots and pans and stuff?”

  Anthony giggled. “I guess they could, but no. They make amazing crowns and jewels. Their stuff is all over the magical kingdoms. Whenever you see a fancy tiara, one that twinkles just a bit more than it should, chances are the sprites made it.”

  Suddenly, I thought of the purple and silver bracelet that had once been my mother’s. It was one of the few things I’d inherited of hers after my parents had disappeared a few years ago. I’d always thought there was something unearthly about that bracelet. Was it possible it had been made by sprites? Wait, that was crazy. My parents had been dentists. There was no way they could have gotten their hands on anything even remotely magical.

  “So what exactly am I supposed to do when we get to the dragons?” I asked.

  Anthony shrugged. “You’re the adventurer. I’m just here to make sure you don’t get hurt.”

  “That’s it? No instructions? I thought you were going to be my guide.”

  “You’ll be fine,” he said. “You’re a natural. I can tell.”

  I didn’t feel like a natural. I felt like someone in a dream—or maybe a nightmare. As excited as I was that something amazing was finally happening to me, part of me still couldn’t believe it. And okay, I was a tiny bit scared. What had I gotten myself into?

  We kept trudging through the charred woods until we got to a large clearing. It was dotted with dozens of shiny hills, glowing against the burned landscape. As we got closer, I realized the hills were shiny because they were pretty much heaps of metal.

  And milling around the metallic hills were dozens of dragons.

  I’d expected dragons to be enormous, so I was a little disappointed to see the creatures up close. The biggest one was about the size of a moving van, but most of the others weren’t much bigger than a car. The dragons were hovering around the metal mounds, combing through forks and weathervanes and ladders. I spotted some random non-metal things poking out, including the bathtub I’d seen flying through the air minutes earlier. It occurred to me how strong dragons had to be if they could carry objects that were almost as big as they were.

  “What is this place?” I whispered to Anthony.

  “The dragons’ home base,” he said. “It’s where they bring back all their treasure.”

  I didn’t know if “treasure” was the word I would use to describe a rusty stepstool that one of the dragons was hugging to its chest.

  At that moment, the dragon closest to us—and the largest of the bunch—spun around and glared at us with yellow eyes. I expected him to snarl and fry us up for dinner, but instead he said: “You’ve been sent to help us?”

  At his words, the rest of the dragons in the clearing stopped what they were doing and eyed us curiously.

  “Yes, indeed!” said Anthony. “This here is Jenny. She’s going to fix everything.”

  All dragon eyes swung toward me, which made me inch back a step. Even if the dragons weren’t enormous beasts, they were still pretty intimidating. And the fact that they could set me on fire with just a hiccup wasn’t exactly comforting.

  “Um, hi,” I said with a pathetic wave. “Nice to meet you all.”

  “I am Hsssshhhem,” the large dragon said, the name coming out like a long hiss of steam. “I am the leader of this clan.” His neck was thicker than all of the other dragons’ which probably meant he was the king—at least based on what Anthony had told me about the sprite queen’s war-starting comment.

  “Er, do you mind if I call you Sam?” I asked, pretty sure there was no way my tongue could make boiling-water sounds.

  The dragon sighed, letting out a small puff of smoke. “It does not matter what you call me as long as you make the sprites leave us alone. They attack us and drive us out of our own woods.” He shook his head. “And worst of all, they make us leave our treasures behind. Do you know what it feels like to abandon chairs you’ve been collecting for decades?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, trying to sound sympathetic. I’d never really been all that attached to furniture. “I’ll do what I can to stop the sprites.”

  In my mind, sprites were small and bubbly and totally harmless. How could a group of dragons be afraid of them? But they clearly were scared or they wouldn’t be burning down their entire land to protect themselves.

  “Thank you,” said Sam, bowing his scaly head.

  Just then, a shrill horn sounded from among the burned trees. The dragons’ eyes turned huge with panic.

  “We’re under attack!” Sam yelled.

  I didn’t even have time to duck before something bullet-like zipped past my head. Then another, and another. One of the buzzing bullets grazed my shoulder, sending what felt like a lightning bolt down my entire arm.

  “Get down!” Anthony cried, pushing me to the ground.

  Above our heads, the buzzing got louder and louder until it was almost deafening. The numbness in my arm started to fade, and finally I could focus on what was attacking us. That’s when I realized the bullets had pink wings.

  Sprites. Now I understood why the dragons were so scared of them.

  The dragons were flapping around in the air above us, trying to dodge the sprites and belch fire at the same time. No matter which direction they went, the sprites followed at top speed. It was clear the dragons were losing; the sprites were tiring them out by making them fly in tight circles. Already, a few of the dragons looked like they could barely stay in the air.

  “We have to do something,” I said.

  Anthony’s orange eyebrows climbed up his forehead. “All right, Jenny-girl. Let’s see if the Committee was right about you having adventurer potential.”

  “Wait, you’re not going to help me?”

  He shrugged. “You’re the one running the show.”

  Great. Well, the first thing I needed to do was stop the fighting. Then maybe I could get these crazy creatures to sit down and talk out their problems. But how was I supposed to get their attention in the first place?

  “Any chance you have a giant whistle on you?” I asked Anthony.

  He grinned and snapped his fingers. Pop! Instantly, a whistle the size of a trumpet appeared. I had to use both hands to hold it up.

  I took a deep breath, put my lips to the whistle, and blew as hard as I could. “Tweet.” The whistle let out a pathetic sound that resembled a dying tea kettle.

  Determined, I got to my feet and sucked in the biggest breath I could. Then:

  “TWEET!”

  The whistle’s shrill sound echoed toward the clouds. The fighting stopped, and all the creatures glared down at me.

  Gulp.

  I threw back my shoulders and put on a stern voice that would have made my gym teacher proud. “Stop all that fighting and come down here right now!” I hollered up at the mass of dragons and sprites.

  The creatures drifted toward the ground, sulking like they were in trouble.

  “Now sit down
, all of you,” I said, amazed that they were actually listening to me.

  The creatures formed a circle around me, dragons on one side and sprites on the other. Now that the sprites weren’t moving, I could see just how stunning they were. While their wings were various shades of pink and purple, their skin was pale blue and their clothes were shimmery white. They eyed me with suspicion, clearly unhappy that I’d put an end to their fun.

  “Okay, you guys,” I said. “This fighting has to stop. Dragons, if you keep going like this, you won’t have anywhere to live. I mean, look at this place. It’s a mess!”

  The dragons hung their heads in shame.

  “And sprites, what would it take for you to end this war?”

  One of the sprites stood and gave me a little bow. Her wings were darker than the others’ and her shimmery white clothing was laced with gold.

  “Adventurer, I am Queen Olra. You must know that we did not want this war. The dragons left us no choice. They robbed us of all our worldly possessions until we had to act.”

  “Robbed you?” I said. “What do you mean?” I turned toward Sam, who was looking at the ground with guilty eyes. “Is this true? Have you been stealing from the sprites?”

  He nodded slowly. “We can’t help it,” he said. “It’s simply in our nature. When we see something shiny, we must have it.”

  “And what about our chairs?” Olra demanded. “They were made out of wood, and still you took them even though they were far too small for you to sit in. Now we can’t get them back, since you burned down the entire forest and destroyed them all.”

  Sam’s green cheeks looked slightly red. “They were just…such nice chairs.”

  “I know,” said the queen coldly. “I conjured them myself.”

  I couldn’t believe it. The entire war was over some chairs? I glanced at Anthony, but he had a straight look on his face. Maybe this kind of thing was normal in the magical worlds.

  “I want peace,” Olra went on, “but my people are angry. The dragons destroyed our villages, and the magic necessary to rebuild our land has left my people drained.” She turned to me. “Please. There must be something you can do to help us.”